2004-07-26 - 3:13 p.m.

ASP has now come and gone as well, and I suppose I have alot to say about it but I'm far too lazy to get to it all.

As far as my faith is concerned, ASP was a refreshing experience and reinforced my system of beliefs and my relationship with God. Through the week I saw some of the best qualities humanity had to offer, and I felt the genuine sense of caring among all the participants. The biggest thing that struck me however was figuring out the final reason for working down there and why people continue to do it. From what I gather, people come back to ASP and volunteer their time out of love. Love for one another, love for creation, and love for your God all play a factor. You go because you want to see your friends and become closer to them and in fact you do, you want to give your time to make another persons quality of life better for whatever reason, and in the whole process you see how your actions are truly Christlike. In return the people you serve show you perhaps what things your life is missing beyond material posession, and you in turn are thankful for what you have.

I hope that made sense.

Moving on, ASP really helped bring my whole year to a close. That was the last big trip I'll take of my high school life, now I just wait until its college time. Its all finally sinking in if you will. I'm not going to update this journal often if at all during the school year, I'm not going to see many of you on a regular basis, I'm probably not going to talk to more than a few of you on a regular basis. Does that suck? You bet your ass it does, but at the same time I'm getting my independence from my parents and I'm getting that second chance if you will to start over with a clean slate. That could be good, it could be bad, we'll see how it all works.

Year is coming to a close, and things are already starting to dwindle and end. Those who I would consider my casual friends I barely speak to anymore, Honors Choir is over, even my house is changing rapidly. To top it off I'm single again...

I could see it coming, I just wasn't really prepared for it. Who could? I don't even think she was completely either. It makes sense though, circumstances being what they are, dragging anything out wouldn't be practical and would probably ruin chances of things being at the very least civil or normal in the future. I suppose shes just the one person right now who I'm most afraid of losing. I love her, I still do, I probably will in some way for a long time, but the problem is separating a love for a friend from romantic feelings. That sucks. I think now I've got a rational and practical view of things, but my selfish impulses don't want things to change this quickly. I don't want to lose my best friend and my girlfriend at once. This isn't going to turn negative.

I want to do something stupid, just not that stupid. Maybe I'll get in a fistfight, I could beat up Nick and Dan, but Mike is just way too fat for me to make a dent.

I think people are good, if you think otherwise thats a really good reason to...

SIGN THE GUESTBOOK!

Ciao

Beans

previous - next