2004-08-10 - 1:41 a.m.

Its coming to a close my dear readers. In 18 days its off to Decorah Iowa for COLLEGE LIFE!

Lets recap it all shall we? In the past four years I have accomplished more than I had ever dreamed of in high school. I have met some of the most amazing people. I'm going to a pretty good college. Most of all I have found myself.

Who am I? What makes me "Beans"?

I love people, they're facinating, capable of incredible and terrible things. People do great things out of love for others, in mild forms most of the time. Its been a great pleasure to watch myself grow up these past four years, and to watch others grow up and find themselves. Its been an honor to be able to see and help people through these times which tend to define a person. Its been a blessing to recieve the same things from others, mentorship, opportunity, and privilage. Would I want things to be any different? No. Do I have some regrets? Some, but do they matter, no. My biggest regret though is I have been quick to take the safest route in almost all cases, and in turn I may have missed out on some great things. It happened for a reason, why? Who knows, but I do know I've learned.

I thank you all who read this and sign the "damn" guestbook. This has been a really great outlet for thoughts and ideas and what not.

Regardless of all this, I've grown tired, I want to get on with life and leave things behind.

But there are some things that I don't think I can... Maybe in time, but at this moment its confusing. Will these things hold me back? Do I really want to come back often? Will I want to come back often? Am I needed here anymore? Do you rely on me? Do I rely on you? Should I rely on you? Should you rely on me?

You can spend hours thinking about the questions and trying to control it, but in the end its only going to drive you insane. I'm going to let life take me in its arms and hope it doesn't drop me. Its all in whoevers hands control it now.

Thanks for the signing, thanks for the reading.

Sign the guestbook

Perhaps I will return? Unlikely, but perhaps.

Signing off for now.

Beans

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